fake it till ya make it

only me

2010-01-19T21:17:00.000-08:00

so, today i went in for an interview at a rather large district that's not ridiculously far from home (it's not close either). of course i was crazy nervous, and in the end it was for nothing. i got the subbing position!

i shit you not, not 10 minutes later, i check the iphone and i've got an e-mail from another large district that's crazy close to home... no interview necessary - they want me to call to make an appointment to come in and get fingerprinted/fill out paperwork/etc. of course. in a matter of minutes i go from completely unemployed to having 2 districts to choose from for subbing jobs (when i've already got 2 for back-up). 1 sub, 4 districts...

yeah, i know - i've got it rough.

it's raining, it's pouring

2010-01-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

literally. i woke up this morning to the sound of water being poured on my windowpane. around noon i decided it was time to get out of bed and head to my favorite place

while sitting in the coffee shop i saw a whole lotta this:

once i was able to pull my bootay out of the o-so comfy overstuffed chair, i headed home. as i turned the corner i saw this:

*yeah, i'm thankful i didn't park next to that tree... cra-zay!

bonding with mom

2010-01-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

so, since my mom is currently unemployed, and i was soon to be unemployed, so we thought up something fun. on tuesday my mom came to work with me! seeing as she's not set foot inside of a middle school in over 10 years, and she hadn't been in a classroom setting in over 30 years, i did my best to prep her. i told her things really wouldn't be what she expected.

i didn't tell the kids that she'd be coming because they're usually better behaved when a stranger is around, and if they knew it was my mom i feared they would try to show off for her. she showed up right before 4th period and stayed all day. to say she enjoyed herself would be an understatement. i taught as usual, and when i remembered to look up and see how she was doing she was either laughing at me or taking notes.

she was all kinds of proud... proud of herself and her ability to calculate problems involving inequalities, and her ability to convert miligrams to kilograms to pounds and so on... o yeah, and she was proud of me too =)

both she and i were grateful for the 'opportunity' she had to see me teach. i mean, if she was employed she never would have made it into the classroom, and if i wasn't being laid off they probably would have been more strict with me and who i have come and observe me just for shits and giggles.

*as sad as this is, this is the most recent photo I have of she and i... wow

a quickie

2010-01-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

every other week mom and i meet up to get our nails done. well, with me getting my pink slip (and she hers - a few days prior to christmas), we find ourselves counting every nickel and dime. instead of going to get our nails done, she had a fantastic idea - how about we still meet up, but we go for a walk! this morning she showed up around 10, and we walked through the park, through a shopping center and to the farmers market! id' say we walked for a good 4 miles, and just enjoyed each others company. she spent $4.75 at the farmers market, and i spent $8.33 for tea. i am quite proud of us, we exercised, we spent some quality time together, and we enjoyed ourselves.

today i am grateful for my momma, gas, and our working legs!

something to remember...

2010-01-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

so, i teach 3 periods of 7th grade math; 1 period of GATE and 2 periods of far below basic. in my fbb classes all of my students score at a 4th grade level in mathematics, and it just so happens they all are english language learners as well.

one of my fbb students, raul, totally doesn't belong in the fbb category. he doesn't even fall into the below basic category. he's definitely at grade level, if not above it. i’ve told him time and again that he’s too smart to be in my class. he’s the student who finishes all the problems in the time that it takes the rest of the class to write their heading on their paper. when he has a question, i jokingly refuse to help him – i make him figure it out himself (most of the time, he’s able to figure it out himself anyways, while i’m busy helping his classmates with their basic arithmetic).

well, a few weeks ago raul asked me a question.

raul: “miss, do you have a charpener?”
me: “excuse me, raul?”
raul: “my pencil is broke, can i use your charpener?”
me: “i’m sorry, raul, i don’t have any charpeners. the only thing i have to fix a broken pencil is a sharpener.”
raul – cracks up “so miss, can I use the charpener?”
me: “raul… i don’t have any charpeners. sorry."

a week or so later i raul asked for a charpener and i told him if he could ask for a sharpener i’d be more than willing to let him use mine.

whenever i remember, i get raul to get his classmates quiet by having him shush them… then i tease him. why can he “shhhhh” the class, but he can’t sharpen a pencil.

every few days or so i make sure to ask raul if he’s found any charpeners – and everytime i ask him, he cracks up.

little miss k

2010-01-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

so, prior to christmas break i decided to incorporate some holiday cheer into my lessons. we learned about chanukah, kwanza and christmas. i decorated my office, wore silly holiday stuff, and focused on giving/family/in as many lessons as i could. when students were working independently i would play holiday music on low to get everyone into the spirit.

on tuesday i noticed that one of my usually bubbly/go to students just seemed a bit... off. little miss k stopped doing her work, started zoning when she should have been listening/doing her work, stopped participating in group activities... basically she just checked out. i ended up asking her to stay after class one day and asked her what was wrong. she wouldn't even look at me.

i've never felt so bad in my life. i didn't know what i did to upset her; was it something i did? was she having problems at home? was she in an argument with her friends/boyfriend? i mean, she's 13 - it could be anything...

she acted the same way on wednesday and by thursday i'd had enough. first off, i was letting a teenager dictate my emotions. secondly, she was totally letting her grade plummet from an A to damn near a C. thirdly, it's the holiday's and she's a kid... she's supposed to be enjoying herself!!!

i kept her in at lunch and asked her what her deal was. she stood there and looked right past me. so i did the mature thing... i pulled out a chair and sat. i told her that i could wait all day, but we weren't going to lunch until she told me what i'd done to upset her. so i sat. and sat. and sat.

i'd forgotten how truly stubborn teenage girls could be. i sat for damn-near 10 minutes when she finally stopped rolling her eyes and sighing heavily. she finally broke down and told me something i never expected to hear from her. little miss k hates christmas!

excuse me? what kid hates christmas?

uh, the one's whose mom was recently deported and whose father died a few years ago. yeah, that kid doesn't really want to be reminded everyday that it's the holiday season. that kid doesn't want to talk about family and thankfulness and all that jazz. that kid was my little miss k.

yeah, i felt like an ass. i was too busy focusing on myself and how much i love the holidays to think about how my students might feel.

i asked little miss k if she'd spoken to anyone about her feelings - of course she hadn't. so we sat. she spoke, and i listened. neither of us ate lunch, and we were both late to our 6th period, but it was worth it. after our... well, more like her, conversation, i knew i wanted to do something for her. but what? what could i do to make her feel somewhat better? get her a present? i didn't want to embarrass her. i knew it helped her to get all that off her chest, so that night i made a tar-jay run.

friday came, and we had a holiday party. i had all my classes watch a charlie brown christmas and i had my language arts class write a short essay about what they were greatful for. i had little miss k help me grade math papers. when class was over i gave all the kids a candy-cane and wished them a happy new year.

before little miss k left, i gave her a present. i gave her a journal and a super cute pen. and of course, i broke the rules, and i gave her a hug.

well, all break i wondered and worried about little miss k. did i do the right thing by giving her a present or did i embarrass her? did she get to go see her mom or was she still staying with the neighbors for the holidays? and, most importantly, was she happy?

we've been back from break for 3 days now, and everyday little miss k has met me at my office to say hello in the morning. after lunch she finds me and has a little something for me (a pink lolli-pop, a pink airhead, and a tinkerbell sticker). and everyday, she's smiled.

grateful

2010-01-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

today, i am grateful for getting a paycheck!!! yipee!

and i thought i was sad

2010-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

today went like any other tuesday at school.
kids were pretty well behaved.
lessons went as planned.

i still didn't get paid (WTF?!?).

the one thing that i wasn't expecting to have happen though, happened in the middle of third period.

towards the end of my o-so super fun lesson on setting up and solving proportions, one of the girls in my class raises her hand.

student: "can i ask you a question, miss?"

me: "sure, what's up? are you confused with setting up the proportion?"

student: "no, i get that. is it true you're getting fired?"

me: "uh, what?"

student: "well, i heard that a lot of teachers were getting fired. all the new ones. and you're new, so are you getting fired?"

thus i had to explain the difference of being fired vs. getting laid off. only took me about 3 minutes, and then she raised her hand again.

student: "so, are you getting laid off?"

me: "unfortunately, yes. my last day here will be next friday."

student: "..."

and then she BURST INTO TEARS! so not what i was expecting! i mean, yeah, had i told a first grader that i wasn't coming back i could see some tears, but she's in the 8th grade! i was just so taken back by her sudden burst of emotion (as were many of her classmates), i honestly didn't know what to do. luckily the bell rang, so i was able to dismiss the class and spend some one-on-one time with her, but wow. i had no idea my leaving would affect anyone so much. i let her sit and cry - which of course led me to cry, cause i'm a goober like that... and then told her not to focus on that just yet. i still have 8 more days here, so we'll be sure to make them great.

any ideas as to how i'm supposed to get through the next 8 days?

dancing, and singing, and moving to the music

2010-01-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

no, not me. that would be my co-workers, or ex-co-workers, or soon to be ex... eh, whatever. never have i seen people so happy to be laid off.

i realize my school district isn't the best to work for (seeing as how accounting somehow lost my paycheck for december - oh, and it's DIRECT DEPOSIT, but whatever), but wow. people literally came in singing and dancing to work today. yes, there were a few of us who were/are bummed, but honestly the majority of them were crazy happy. all i can say is wow. it's probably best that you not work here anymore. obviously you're not here for the kids. (ok, that was harsh, but i'm in a bad mood, you'll have to forgive me).

but, besides all the negative-ness of it, i have had some really positive encounters with quite a few people. folks who are actually really upset to see me go. the principal is still doing what he can to 'save' me, but at this point i'm not too optimistic. however, this has made today's resolution rather easy for me.

today, i am grateful for my job (even if it might be mine for only 9 more days), for my co-workers, and my principal who really is a rockstar!

a gun and a little fun

2010-01-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

despite the unfortunate news i received yesterday (facebook peps already know - i got my pink slip... last day at work will be the 15th), today i decided to head to disneyland and forget all my cares. today i am grateful for my bestie, for mickey waffles, and for buzz.

you know you're a rockstar when you RANK! never in all my times playing have i ever scored high enough to rank - out of all the peps at the park today (well, today prior to 2pm), i ranked 44th. not to shabby, in my opinion.

tomorrow = back to work. while most parents are more than happy to send their kids back to school, most teachers are dreading it. i, however, am looking forward to it. i really missed my kids over the break, and getting this pink slip has only increased my desire to teach. sucks too - i came up with some kick ass projects to help the kid-o's with integers... boo!

something new - check

2010-01-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

yay for me and my new years resolution. i think i'm actually going to stick to this thing! i can whole heartedly say that thus far i've done my best to smile more - wheather it be just to myself, to my loved ones, or even total strangers (who look at me like i'm a loon, but whatever). yesterday i said one thing that i was grateful for (the internet for providing me with lots of recepies) and i even tried something new!

ladies and gentlemen, i proudly introduce... my first time baking bread!

specifically pretzel bread! yes, i'm sure it took me way longer than it was supposed to, and i was crazy-go-nuts messy when all was said and done, but i must say, i had me some fantastic bread by the end of the night!

starting over, yet again

2010-01-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

first off, if you don't get the reference in the title, you probably want to stop reading right now. it's ok, i'm not offended. it's who i am. no biggie.

so yeah, the title. seriously makes sense in so many ways - it's ironic, humorous, sad and whatever else you want to think it is. this is my introduction to the blogosphere, yet again. and yet, i'm such a different person. i've recently graduated college (after almost a freaking decade), have officially been hired as a teacher (although it's a semester contract - which ends in 13 days, possibly), and LOTS of other changes have occurred in my life... i'll get into those in due time i'm sure.

with the new year here (happy twenty-ten, or two-thousand and ten), i have a few resolutions as i'm sure you do too. no, they're not the traditional lose weight, exercise, save money b.s. that i know i'll end up dropping before the next hallmark holiday. these are resolutions that i'm almost positive i can and will keep. my resolutions (in no particular order)

smile more
each day say one thing i am grateful for
try something new (not each day, each week or even each month - just periodically)

and if i feel up to it

lose weight, exercise more, and save money =)

those are my resolutions, what are a few of yours?